Darting Down Memory Lane

How one group of women stuck together after 25 years of throwing darts 

For many, lasting relationships with a group of friends seems like the stuff of the silver screen –life always seems busy with work, school, and family, and it is the area of friendships that consistently seem to take a backseat. It’s something that everyone wants to work on.

However, there are those who make it work throughout all the “busyness” of living life. They meet together often – whether it’s a brief chat over coffee or an extensive dinner – to maintain relationships and give advice, while also seeking out council. They inspire us to try harder with our friends, and grow our social circle. This is not just the stuff of the movies.

For these five women, this is the stuff of 25 years.

 

Known by another name

In 1993, five friends from the Buffalo area made a consecutive decision. With life increasingly getting busier and busier, the weekly bowling league was beginning to take its toll as the season stretched on; though none of the five wanted to compromise their weekly get-together and see their relationships strike out. They made the decision to call it quits on the bowling league, and move into something more flexible to their weekly schedule: darts.

Joan Costanzi, Cheryl Ernesti, Kim Michalko, Janet Dixon, and Pat Jaeger kickstarted the group, who may be known by many in past years by an otherwise explicit name. While these five were the brains behind the operation, the “Dart Girls” went on to see around a dozen members who all met regularly to keep in touch.

“We didn’t want to stop seeing everyone by stopping regular bowling,” Pat Jaeger shared. “It was a lot more casual and flexible than bowling was – the season is shorter, and we could meet once a week, have dinner, and talk more. It was a great step.”

The suggestion really began thanks to Janet Dixon, who played darts recreationally in England. With the conclusion of the bowling league, the group was more readily able to make their own rules for events.

One such “rule,” or really, a practice, included the weekly “pot” or “kitty” that the group unanimously decided to require. A weekly contribution of $10 per each player would go into an end-of-the-year event fund, which they planned as a group. Also included in their practice was two-on-two teams, where partnered pairs played against one another, two games per night.

What began as an end-of-the-year trophy ceremony eventually became too formal for the group, and they moved away from really awarding trophies and recognition for games won per team. Instead, they used the “kitty” funds to arrange an event which would span two days.

The event was always a themed day, where those in charge of the end-of-the-year event provided clues to other members about where to meet and what to do. This included wacky costumes, running around to different places to play darts and ask questions, and eventually ending up spending the night together having a “rowdy, good time,” as they said.

 

Good times at the season’s end

Sometimes, these end-of-the-year romps were more surprising than others. Given clues to a theme to go off of, no one really had an idea of what the event would entail – or what costumes to wear, either.

“There are some years we were way off,” Kim Michalko shared. “You’d meet up with everyone else and be way off in center field with your outfit. It was always a time to have some good laughs.”

The “getaway,” as they called it, was an all-day event that had everyone running “one hundred different directions.” The “Getaway Committee” would arrange the clues, all leading to different places, and hope that eventually, everyone would show up at the end of the night after having done all the “crazy different things” assigned to them.

“This involved collaborating together quite a bit,” Janet Dixon explained. “We even worked with some of the businesses to be sure everyone got the clues if they did the right things. It was so much fun, but so, so busy. We’d be exhausted by the end.”

As for the different themes throughout the years, some favorites included board games, with some dressing up as tributes to different games, such as Monopoly or Scrabble; “Desperate Housewives,” and so on. Getting together at the end of the getaway adventure was always a time of taking pictures and sharing rounds of laughter.

While the group never competed outside their immediate groups, they competed against each other, in both costumes and scores. However, there were never really any harsh feelings, and everyone got along great – and, even sometimes, it wasn’t even about the game. It was about walking through life with trusted friends, having a good time, and maintaining relationships no one wanted to lose.

 

Community response

Throughout 20-odd years of playing together, the group eventually started seeing more and more members. So much so that high schoolers were coming to observe the group’s dynamics, and were writing papers on the social intricacies of a woman’s group. Which, if you ask any of the Dart Girls, they’d tell you it was quite hilarious to imagine anyone’s child writing about their group, which was “rowdier” than most women’s get-togethers.

Eventually, members of their group began to come from farther and farther away than Buffalo, and faces began to get a bit more unfamiliar. The close-to-home and “sisterhood” dynamic shifted, and the “originals” in the group decided after 25 years, it was finally time to retire and take a step back. Now, many of their daughters and friends still meet regularly to throw darts, but these five stay in contact in other ways beyond the dartboard.

“It’s really amazing to see it still active in the community even with us, the original founders, gone,” Joan Costanzi shared. “It’s a testament of hard work and good fun, really.”

“And, those nights are memories we’ll have forever,” Cheryl Ernesti explained. “Even with some of our girlfriends passed, we still have those memories that we’re close to and visit often.”

While they’ll occasionally step in and substitute for players who can’t make the night’s game, the group is happy to see their original idea still alive and well – and, they’re thankful to still be involved in the same community they “ran around” in. What originally began at George’s (now Bunkers eatery) has spanned another iteration, which makes them proud to be part of something lasting.

“We’ve built bonds over the 25 years together,” Pat Jaeger said. “Bonds that continue in other ways now, too, as we watch our kids have relationships. That is something special.”

“It’s wonderful to have a group where you can blow off steam and share your life with,” Kim Michalko commented. “We knew about everything in everyone’s lives, and sometimes, the night was about discussing life. It ebbed and flowed with how we were doing, and that is something I am personally thankful for.”

“It was never about the idea of just playing darts,” Janet Dixon explained. “It was about sticking together and wanting to see each other outside of a rigorous bowling season. We went at our own pace, and had a good time. Made memories; maintained lasting relationships. That’s what counts in the grand scheme of things – the getaway party was good fun, and grew us closer together.”

“It was something to do,” Pat Jaeger said. “It kept us together; was something we all could do. Saw us through many cold winters, and saw us all through different walks of life. You have to really be part of something like that to fully understand how special it is.”

Now, with the ladies all retired from darts, they spend their time together going out to dinner and “catching up” through real conversation. There’s not too many “rowdy getaways” that go on for them anymore, but they are far from washed up.

 Every once in a while, the ladies get out and throw some darts. But on the whole, they leave that to younger “girls.”

Publication: 

The Drummer and The Wright County Journal Press

PO Box 159
108 Central Ave.
Buffalo MN 55313

www.thedrummer.com

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